Thanksgiving...

It's the night before Thanksgiving. I haven't really allowed myself much time to reflect lately and figured now is as good of a time as any. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I took a trip to the east coast and partied it up for about ten days. A couple of weeks prior to that my girlfriend and I had broken up. After telling her a year ago that I wanted us to start thinking about marriage, I noticed that she just took my sincerity for granted. She made no effort to make any of the things I wanted in life a reality and continued to focus on what she wanted. I know it sounds bad but really what gets me is that I understand why she is doing what she is doing; but I don't understand how she can expect to sit around and just take it. Albeit I was a free man so it was time to let loose and enjoy my east coast trip. I can't lie I really tried to enjoy my new found freedom. I also have to say that it just didn't feel right. I was partying and running around like the old school college days. Night after night we went out in Philly, New York, attended weddings and partied like rock stars. I had a blast but something inside of me just didn't feel right. I did enjoy myself though and in some ways it was the perfect medicine...

It is the night before Thanksgiving, as I mentioned before, and I should be thinking of things to be thankful about, but in some ways all I feel is sad and mad. I was so close, and somehow I am so far. The truth of the matter is that I am thankful. I am thankful to her for at least trying to understand me. I am thankful for my friends who have figured out the perfect balance of how to be there for me without overwhelming me with the traditional "are you ok" speech. I am thankful for much more then that, the food I eat, the job I have, the people I have met, the air I breathe, for a wonderful family, the list goes on and on...

I am not sure if this Thanksgiving is going to be like the others, since I am rolling into it with so much baggage, but I can always hope...