sachel

One day... two perspectives...

2011-06-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

Another day in my life
Another lost opportunity
Another obstacle
Another another....
Loss...

I was sitting down trying, crying, lying...
in wait hidden in a corner
a shell of my former
self...

Another day in my life
Another open door
Another challenge
...another Another
Victory...

I was standing up in a crowd, proud, loud...
no longer hidden in a corner
a shell of my former
self...

You...

2010-06-25T17:32:00.001-07:00

I think of you
I am never thought of by you
I glance at you
I am not seen by you
I dance with you
I am not felt by you
I comfort you
I am hurt by you
I listen to you
I am not heard by you
I treasure you
I am spurned by you
I love you
I am not loved by you…

The damage is done...

2010-05-05T12:43:00.000-07:00

The damage is done,
Only shards remain where once,
A whole heart was claimed

The devastation is vast,
Rows of abandoned home
Far as the eye can see

You can still hear the music
The soulful sounds of a movement
Crowds spilling through the streets

All that remains is silence
A vast sense of loss
All but defeated

The damage is done
We will rise again
The heart vows to keep beating

Some return
Face the challenge
And remain …

Others have moved on
They cannot bear it
The faint beat of a weakened heart

They want to help
They want to scream
They reluctantly abandon her in her time of need

So few have returned
How will the heart beat again
How will the blood flow through it’s veins as it once did

Progress is being made
The lost ones are being replaced by new souls
Brave humans ready for the challenge

She will rise
Her heart will beat once again
She will never be conquered

Or will she…

Boom Pow a rig explodes
Her homes were taken and now her livelihood
How will she weather this storm…

(Shared Contribution by AM)

Had it not been seen...

2010-05-05T12:07:00.001-07:00

Had it not been seen,
We would have continued like before....
And not changed

She has to wait
Time spent was too precious
Maybe she will

Had it not been touched
We wouldn’t have noticed the blazing temperature
And continued like before…

She could have waited
We would have worked at it
Now it’s gone

Had it not been heard
We would not have noticed the shrieking
And continued like before…

She should have waited
Anger didn’t solve anything
Now the end has arrived

Had it not been said,
I might have saved face
And continued like before…

She would have waited
The moment was too real
Now there is loneliness

Another burnt Tea Kettle
Another date gone south
I really have to learn how to make Tea

(Shared Contribution by AM)

Shades

2010-05-05T12:06:00.000-07:00

Shades of jealousy,
Tainted colored memories,
You devastate me.

Fighting with fire,
In it’s glorious rage
You frustrate me

Shades of Pride
Smiles cheek to cheek
You intoxicate me

Fighting with the wind
In it’s sheer power
You deflate me

Shades of glory
Victorious times
You congratulate me

Fighting with water
In it’s peaceful serenity
You placate me

Shades of loss
Depression ensues
You blame me

Fighting with the earth
In it’s abundance
You stimulate me

Shades of truth
Moments that are lost
You are me…

(Shared Contribution by AM)

Educational Reform in California

2010-03-02T09:56:00.000-08:00

*** Let me preface this by saying these are just my opinions, rants, etc... proceed with caution***

Some of you know this and others don't. I work as a financial planner and a majority of my clients are teachers. In fact I am currently sitting in the lounge of an elementary school in Santa Ana. Let me start by saying I am not even sure that we can call the current educational system in California a system. There are way too many things wrong with it. I don't want to seem like I am just here to complain but I think to get a fair understanding I should first lay out what I think are the issues with the system.

1. Mediocrity is rewarded
2. No accountability standards (testing every five days doesn't count)
3. Teaching to a test and not to the student
4. Poor recruitment
5. Watered down recruitment standards
6. Horrible budgeting
7. Lack of innovative thinking and solutions

I could go on with a few more things but I am sure you get the picture. The system is broken in a lot of different places. Now as an outsider let me say that I think the fault lies everywhere. The Unions protect their constituency, the teachers and administrators, the legislators protect their constituency, their election campaign fund, and the parents and children, well there is really no one to protect them. Here are some of the things I would do.

I am going to combine points 1 thru 3 because I feel the solution to these is the most important and I believe my suggestion tackles all three issues. The main key is the need for accountability and the fact that mediocrity should not be rewarded. We harp on our kids constantly that mediocrity in the real world is not rewarded but from my own experience I can tell you that at least 25 -30 % of the teachers I run into are rewarded for just that, mediocrity. Testing is currently the only way that we hold teachers accountable if at all and how we gauge progress in kids. It doesn't work. Remember that kid that was good at all the tests, could ace any of them, was he/she a great student? Remember the other kid that labored, studied hard, did all the homework but struggled with tests, was he/she a bad student?

In my opinion teachers should be held accountable by three constituencies, their peers, the student's parents, and their principal or administrators. At the end of the year each of these three parties should get to fill out surveys in reference to the teacher with the surveys being weighed 33% for both the admin and peers, and 34% for the parents. The teacher portion of this survey would break down as such, surveys by teachers in your grade level and by teachers in the grade level above you, since they can gauge your progress from the previous year. Teachers that teach the 12th grade would be gauged by how many kids they graduate. If a teacher does not get the appropriate marks they would be put on probation for the next two years. Why two you ask, no teacher should be fearful to teach in the manner she chooses, or punished for having a "bad class". The Union would be put on notice as well and they would have two years to make sure they took the opportunity to help their constituent, the teacher. Teachers that end up on the list more than twice would be subject to a one year probation. Again the union would obviously be notified. That would I believe at least start to resolve the first three issues.

Now comes the poor recruitment and the low recruitment standards. Teachers should be the bright of the bright and I am sorry in a lot of schools I go to they are not. A masters degree from University of Phoenix carries the same weight as a degree from Harvard. A masters degree in English Literature, Nuclear Physics, or Education are all of the same value. The government has a similar system of rewarding for units but I am not sure it should be that flat. There has to be some form of subjectivity to the units and degrees people attain when it comes to their pay.

Ever asked a teacher if they get paid enough? Let me know if you find one that thinks they do. Now realistically for the stuff they deal with they probably don't, but neither do a lot of other people in the world. I worked in the restaurant industry for a while at a Farmer Boys, I would challenge anyone to be a lead cook at a fast food restaurant like that and do well. I definitely couldn't hang and those guys get paid 10 - 14 dollars an hour. Now lets take a look at a teachers pay.( I am taking my numbers from the SAUSD pay schedule) A starting teacher with a bachelors degree makes $48000 a year. Lets take a closer look at this number. Teachers get about 12 weeks off a year which is about 10 weeks more than most people. So most people work 50 weeks a year while teachers work 40. So per week a teacher makes $1200. So on an annual basis teachers make $60000 ($1200 * 50) Go offer a college kid a job that pays him $60000 a year and see how many of them balk at that, even out of good institutions. So why can't we recruit people from better schools. In my opinion its simple; no one understands what teachers make or how they make it. Teachers in Santa Ana get paid $60000 on an annual basis, on top of that they get a pension, ten percent of which is funded for them. They have excellent health benefits to which the district contributes pretty healthily. There needs to be a marketing campaign that lets people know what the true salary packages of teachers are worth. One this would help recruit better teachers, and two teachers themselves would get a better understanding of where they stand in comparison to other professions. Without actually changing anything we would make teaching seem like a good choice.

Now for the budgeting issues, not much to be done there. The districts just have to be forced to run on a ten year average. What I mean by that is districts should look at what they have received in funding over the last ten years. In any year that they have a surplus over that average they should be forced to save a significant portion of that in a rainy day fund. In years that they are below the shortfall can be covered by that fund.

This last problem is a problem with the system. We need to let teachers be creative and teach to the needs of the class in front of them. By force feeding formulaic teaching ciricullums to teachers we are taking away the whole point of having them, to teach. I agree that schools need to teach similar stuff so kids are on the same level, but lets be realistic kids are not on the same level. No two classes are the same and teachers should be able to shift according to the class in front of them.

Ok this has been a very long rant, and if any of you have gotten to this point I congratulate you. I am not sure I would have made it. These are some rudimentary suggestions and obviously I am an outsider looking in but I hope at least some of my points make sense.

When are you getting Married?

2010-01-31T22:23:00.001-08:00

Where to start with this one... This question was pretty easy to dismiss in the past and rarely ever bothered me. I turn 31 in a few days and its really starting to do just that, bother me. A number of my friends are married and seeing the period of adjustment many of them have had to go through has been "interesting" to say the least. My normal answer to the question is I am ready, just one thing missing. Anyone care to guess what? Yeah, yeah you got it ... A girl =)

Really though I am starting to wonder. A good friends cousin(girl) and his sister-in-law told me at a recent wedding that I was too nice to ever get married. I am not sure what that is supposed to mean or how to interpret that but maybe they are on to something. At this point, I am tired of the games, but it seems everywhere I turn there is another thing to worry about. I mean is it crazy to expect this process to just be simple. I swear it felt like it was when I was younger. I kind of like you, you kind of like me we go out and get to know each other and see where it goes. Maybe it's just my experience but that simple notion seems to have disappeared.

So now what. There are of course the dating sites. Naseeb, E-harmony, match, etc... Can't lie, I tried a couple but to date haven't met anyone through them of any interest. (Made a couple of good friends) Of course as a person of South Asian descent there are always biodatas. We have all seen the youtube video. It always seemed like a joke, but lately I am starting to think there is something to it:

1. Something in your biodatas makes you compatible (Theoretically)
2. You get to see each other's pics (granted no guarantee that she still looks like her prom picture)
3. The parties are motivated, if not the people themselves at least their family, parents, etc...
4. There is at least an assumption that the other party is not creepy (Yes, Yes not always guaranteed either)

The fact that it has any appeal at all is frightening. I never thought when i was young that few days from my 31st birthday I would be single let alone be thinking of entertaining the idea of having my mom find me someone... When am I getting married? Well for now the answer is still. " I am ready, just one thing missing." =)

Friends

2009-10-11T13:00:00.001-07:00

A few of us went out for a birthday last night. It had been a while since we had all gotten together. I am sure most people can relate to this feeling. You just have certain people in your life that are a part of you in some way. It can be years since you hung out with them last but the connection is just there. Well last night was another one of those nights we all got together and it felt like we didn't miss a beat. There was about ten or twelve of us but it felt like a well oiled machine that just worked well. We went bowling and then out dancing and the night was loads of fun. For me at least there were some interesting moments... a few instances of reflection. I find myself still just smiling in a way as I think about the night. I am smiling to a certain degree because I often wonder how we all got here and where we are all going to go from here. it seems life has found a way to bring us all together and considering how much fun we have its for good reason. I have been thinking really seriously recently about leaving California and perhaps starting up somewhere else. It's nights like last night that give me pause, as I wonder if I could ever build friendships and connections like the ones I have here. Its definitely not all rosy and pretty. Even within us friends there are so many "thorny" issues some of which we sweep under the rug and others that we often talk about. Still though issues or no issues its that feeling that you are understood, that you belong, that you can and want to listen to others, and that there are people that care to listen to you... Friends are sometimes the most unappreciated assets of our lives. I for one am glad for the friends I have and for the many wonderful memories I have had with them.

Nobel Peace Prize

2009-10-09T11:24:00.001-07:00

President Barack Hussein Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize today. Am I surprised and shocked? Definitely. Do I think he is deserving of the prize well that is where the real question arises. In my own opinion he does. In my lifetime I can't remember another person that has been able to affect the spirit of so many people as President Obama has. He is not Mahatma Gandhi who by the way never won the prize and definitely deserved it. I would ask you though for a second to think of another person who has so instantly changed the perception of America worldwide. I would ask you to think of another person that has captured the imagination of the world as the President has. I agree with a lot of the critics that he has not been able to deliver on that promise but we haven't really given him much time. I don't remember us judging any other president with a microscope to such a degree as we have President Obama. Every move he makes is scrutinized and challenged, but yet how many times have we heard him loose his cool, say the wrong thing, give a shoulder massage to a foreign dignitary (thanks President Bush), or seemingly loose sight of his goal. To get someone to have hope in change, to actually have them believe in it is to me a great feat and President Obama has gotten a nation to believe and some may argue even a large segment of the population of the world...

Whats wrong with the left.

2009-09-18T16:18:00.001-07:00

I should be studying... really I should but this was bugging me and yet again I have neglected to post in a while. Why is it that fringe movements like the Washington Tea Party can get so many things done, that Rush Limbaugh, O' Reilly, Fox News, Conservative radio etc... can garner so much support. Recent Census Bureau data revealed that the shape of the economy post Bush is the worst of any president in modern history. The list of atrocities that have taken place in an era of Republican control while a Republican president and a Republican congress is long and somewhat frightening. There are prison abuse stories, a history of torture, secret prisons, lack of due process, etc... Amazingly until the final days Republicans stuck by President Bush, probably not a wise thing but they did.

On the other hand, So many people are already questioning Obama and the current Democratic party congress on why things haven't turned around including many democrats. Just a thought the United States is like a huge Oil Tanker in an ocean that we are expecting to maneuver like a small speed boat. On top of that the previous regime has ensured that we aren't in open waters either. The multiple missteps have ensured that we are actually in a sea of sorts with very few exit points and only careful maneuvering will ensure that we will actually make our way out safely. I am not saying that we should give the administration and Congress a free pass that's what the nation seemed to do with the last president and look where we ended up, but in light of the circumstances under which President Obama took over we may want to be a little patient...

Our voices of support have to be loud and perhaps even slightly uncivil. Yes I know we are the party of the educated, the party that doesn't play dirty, the party that likes to do things the right way... At some point if the war is in the trenches we may have to adjust our methods. If a Congress man is willing to call the President a liar during a speech in the House we know the other party is not willing to abide by the rules.Ok , I concede we may not want to stoop to their level but we should at the least be prepared to write, post, message, spread the word about our dismay at the discourse taking place around us about the current administration. When things like Death Squads, comparisons of Obama to Hitler, other misconceptions about the health care plans are being put forward daily.

Health Care Reform

2009-07-12T15:29:00.001-07:00

*** Let me preface this by saying these are just my opinions, rants, etc... proceed with caution***

Let's just start with a question what do we think is a more primitive need, basic health care or education? I am not sure we all agree but I think its health care. The constant chatter out of Washington (Mostly Republicans) is that a government option would mean that we wouldn't have a private system. Just in case someone missed it our K-12 education system is a public one and last I checked there were plenty of private schools around. Is the public school system a great one, I would be the first to point out that it isn't, but ponder the alternative for a second is a bad education or a sub par one better then not knowing how to read at all... A public health care system may not deliver excellent care to all its patrons... last I checked our current private system with the highest paid doctors on the planet... doesn't either. The goal of a health care system at least a public one should not be to provide heart transplants, brain surgeries, or other complicate procedures to the masses. Instead the goal should be to provide basic services to everyone in an efficient manner. (No the regional county hospital is not an efficient manner) I am well aware that the goal should be to save everyone and the goal of the public school system is to graduate everyone. Unfortunately the first priority has to be to provide baseline services and then work on improving the system from that point on... I am not a guru by any means and I definitely don't know all the nuances but I think the solution to this problem has to be multi-faceted... Here are some of my suggestions

Increase the number of AMA certified Medical schools ( the number of Caribbean Schools has gone from 3 to something like 30 in the last few years if nothing else those would be dollars spent on our soil ... stimulus anyone) Theoretically an increase in Supply of doctors should decrease salaries
Provide federal loans that could be considered grants if the Physician or health care professional chooses to stay in the primary care fields. Incentivizing Primary Health care would go a long way in keeping better people in the primary fields rather then losing them to Specializations.
Create a government option that is designed to compete with the for profit Insurance companies... such and entity would be required to provide baseline profit returns to its own fund and its reports made public so it could be self sustaining.
Create a separate federal board with state offices to hear about claims that are denied by Insurance carriers. The board would be made up of Industry experts and the decisions of the board would be binding.
Create a national Information system. A system of Medical Records for all citizens housed and run by the government. Access to the system would be fee based as to help defray the cost.
Provide Grants and low interest loans to allow for practices to update software to interface with nationwide system. Prioritize grants and loans based on practices that provide a higher percentage of care to low income families as these practices tend to be less profitable. Grants should also be prioritized based on specialty with primary care practices taking precedence over others.
Create legislation that requires all health Insurance carriers to provide Insurance to the at risk population, each carrier would be required to insure a certain percentage of people that would otherwise be considered uninsurable. The percentage would be fixed providing a measure to spread risk across the whole system and not burden any particular carrier.
New legislation to bring the Health Insurance system under national purview considering it is fragmented and currently run state by state.
A review of the current Reasonable and Necessary and Usual and Customary standards employed by the industry. Health care professionals should be responsible for determining what care they believe is best for their own patients. Doctors would be subject to blind audits at random by a board of their own peers and those that abused the privileges would be reimbursed at a lower percentage. Boards would be set up nationwide and could loose their accreditation as they would also be cross audited by each other.

Those are just some suggestions I have. Just curious to see what if anything happens with the current legislation...

2009-06-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

I write with my heart

I write what is real

I write for my part

I write what I feel

I write to explain

I write to understand

I write to retain

I write to comprehend

I write to provoke

I write to defend

I write as a foe

I write as a friend

I write for pleasure

I write for fun

I write to treasure

I write to run

I write with desire

I write to release

I hope to inspire

I hope for peace

Questions...

2007-12-10T00:09:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend today and she told me that one of her close friends had just passed away. In my 28 years I have experienced a lot of difficult things but have managed to experience death of someone close to me only a few times. I had a friend pass away in high school, a teacher who treated me like a son, and my aunt recently. I have to say that I have always felt that I don't deal with it well. I wish there was a pattern or a set rubric of things one is supposed to do to feel like they were doing the right thing. What is the right thing? What is the appropriate etiquette. What is the appropriate amount of grief? Does it matter if someone was sick before they passed away? Does that somehow mean that we will miss them less...perhaps it's just that we are more prepared. I told this friend of mine that I wouldn't tell her that I understand what she is going through, because I don't feel like I really do but I was there for her if she needed anything. I don't if that was the right thing to do, but it just felt right to me. I have a lot of questions but very few answers and the subject of death is a question that I am truly perplexed by... I would think its a question that perplexes many of us...

From a long time ago. New York pt. 1

2007-11-29T13:53:00.000-08:00

I wrote this a long time ago and meant to post it but never did. It's recollections from a trip to New York....

I am on the flight back right now.I have been telling myself for weeks that I would do this, well now is as good of a time as ever. There is still a slight paion in my stomach, a lingering reminder of the past few days. New York, yet again, was all that I thought it would be. A host of us landing at different times at different airports only to end up at the same apartment. Thursday night started in amazing fashion with Katti Rolls from Roomali. I remember commenting on how orange the place really was. A sign on the door bragged of all the acclaim the place had recieved from local newspapers. Some hailed it the best rolls in town. They weren't, with my limited exposure to New York food, lying. The rolls were phenomenal.

Shortly thereafter the drinking began. There were a host of Gin and Tonic's. A shower and a shave later I was ready for the night scene. In hindsight that night should have been a sign of things to come. I was already having a difficult time drinking. I should have known the food was not sitting well with me. The night scene on this particular night was not in our favor. The place we went to Taj's was awesomely decorated and the music there was second to none, but if having ten guys in our group wasn't bad enough we only seemed to find an abundance of more... After clamoring for a while over wether the scene was going to improve we all decided to leave and head over to Mercury Bar. This place was definitely more happening, but truthfully the most memorable part of the night was the pizza. Pasta pizza as we called it or Baked Ziti as referred to by the owner was oustanding. Check item number one, New York pizza off the list. Calling it somewhat of an early night(3am) we decided to get ready for the next few days.

Friday was of course a late start. We decided as a group of "guys" to dedicate the day to "shopping" and headed over towards Madison and 5th. We stopped off at a local deli, Oxford Catering Company, to grab a bite. I had the Chicken Parmigiana Pannini, which was pretty good. First stop was the Sean John Store, liked a few items but definitely out of my price range. Next we headed over to Saks Fifth Avenue. I need to pause here for a brief description. I was wearing jeans, a hooded sweatshirt, and a baseball cap. The person attending to us at the counter was not let's say extremely gracious. Arjun asked the appropriate questions but nothing came of being at Sak's. We ran through some other stores and ended up at H&M. I should have ran, two hundred dollars and almost two hours later, I had two blazers, a couple of short sleeve shirts and another long sleeve shirt that would be making the journey home with me a few days later. Atur and I headed over to Mexx to meet up with the other guys who by now were a little tired of waiting for the two shopping idiots. In our absence they had made it to the Versace store and Arjun had found the money clip that he had been looking for. Anuj, our gracious tour guide was little tired at this point, the throwing up from the night before had left him in a struggling state for the the day, so we headed back to his place...

Wrote this a while back

2007-11-28T21:01:00.000-08:00

I wrote this a while back thought maybe someone would find it interesting...
To look at a blooming rose, one could say
Is to see the world in a different way
Separated from its peers by its hue
The beauty so undefyingly true
The color so vibrant it could bleed
The pains of the blossom you could almost read
The velvety texture so silky so smooth
The petals every single one every pain it could sooth
The need inside to reach out and grab it so…
The thorns below telling you no
To want it so you wonder if it’s just
Or is it merely a product of your worldly lust
You gaze away momentarily to catch your breath
To think of the right words to express
You turn back and see the rose is gone
You notice someone’s blood on the thorn’s
They bled for her but you feel the pain
Longing to have the past few moments again

Thanksgiving...

2007-11-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

It's the night before Thanksgiving. I haven't really allowed myself much time to reflect lately and figured now is as good of a time as any. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I took a trip to the east coast and partied it up for about ten days. A couple of weeks prior to that my girlfriend and I had broken up. After telling her a year ago that I wanted us to start thinking about marriage, I noticed that she just took my sincerity for granted. She made no effort to make any of the things I wanted in life a reality and continued to focus on what she wanted. I know it sounds bad but really what gets me is that I understand why she is doing what she is doing; but I don't understand how she can expect to sit around and just take it. Albeit I was a free man so it was time to let loose and enjoy my east coast trip. I can't lie I really tried to enjoy my new found freedom. I also have to say that it just didn't feel right. I was partying and running around like the old school college days. Night after night we went out in Philly, New York, attended weddings and partied like rock stars. I had a blast but something inside of me just didn't feel right. I did enjoy myself though and in some ways it was the perfect medicine...

It is the night before Thanksgiving, as I mentioned before, and I should be thinking of things to be thankful about, but in some ways all I feel is sad and mad. I was so close, and somehow I am so far. The truth of the matter is that I am thankful. I am thankful to her for at least trying to understand me. I am thankful for my friends who have figured out the perfect balance of how to be there for me without overwhelming me with the traditional "are you ok" speech. I am thankful for much more then that, the food I eat, the job I have, the people I have met, the air I breathe, for a wonderful family, the list goes on and on...

I am not sure if this Thanksgiving is going to be like the others, since I am rolling into it with so much baggage, but I can always hope...

Long Lost Friend

2007-11-08T22:42:00.001-08:00

I haven't written in a while so I apologize if I am a bit rusty. It seems as though as I get older I am losing friends. There are many reasons for this of course as many of you may well know. Whatever the reasons may be it is still a tough pill to swallow. It's tough not having that person to count on to go to workout with. That buddy that was always willing to go play basketball no matter how far we had to drive. That perfect wingman wait I take that back I am the perfect wingman. The person who was ready to go to any party no matter how dumb it sounded. The guy who always covered for you no matter what. The guy to watch football games with on Sundays. The list goes on and on but I am sure you get the point. Suffice it to say it is hard to loose such a friend. In my case I have lost two: One to the Chapman MBA program and the other to the Sonal Marriage program.

You are both sorely missed... =)

Sonal, can Atur please come out to play. =)

Confusion

2007-07-07T01:59:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while, and to be honest I hope no one reads this. I just need to rant. This is a matter of public record so I should be careful but I don't even know if I care. All I know is that I could go on and on.... Wether its my personal life, local issues, state issues or world issues I feel as I get older that I realize as a race as a species we have not come far. Darfur is a reality before us and its not even the worst of what is happening in the world. I often feel helpless to create change and am bewildered about how to create change. Should one attempt to become as succesful as a Bill Gates(no I don't expect to be Bill Gates) and then better the world that way or did Mother Teresa have it right. Would she have been able to do anything without funding, would Bill Gates be able to do anything without people like her to do the work. Who is the better person... I think society has clearly answered that it is Mother Teresa, but I have to be honest I am not sure. I think that is the jist of the argument, I am not sure. I am not sure that the stance the US takes on most issues is right and in all honesty when the full picture is taken into account I am not sure the stance they take is wrong. For some reason Dick Cheney comes to mind when discussing right and wrong but I think that is best left for a later time. All I know is that I am confused...

Just some interesting quotes

2007-04-03T14:25:00.000-07:00

I don't even know if anybody reads this thing anymore , but if anyone does I thought they might enjoy this. As a part of my work I have been visiting elementary school lounges for the past few years and have always thought it would be a good idea to just jot down some of the things people say. I recently started forced myself to do it. Here is an installment of a few things I heard and some observations i made. My Observations are in italics.

- Procrastinating is an inherent human quality
- The most succesful people seem to be less stressed in the same situations
- Wisdom is simply saying the right thing at the right time
- Teachers are no different then lawyers, work time is hard and play time is fun.
- We have a training on "cognitive thinking," I wonder what it's going to be about.
- "Mulitplication" one day they remember the next they don't
- "Screw Education" is Santa Ana's new city motto
- My father moved in with his girlfriend after he had a stroke. I asked him when he was going to get married. He responded "When the weather breaks." He lived in Chicago ...

Just a crazy thought

2007-03-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

California just recently moved up its primaries to February 5th. Our state has been known as the cash cow for elections. Essentially Californians contribute in hoards, and the point behind bringing our primary date up is to presumably have some of that money spent here. I say California is the cash cow not just for elections but for almost everything. We have the fifth largest economy in the world.(Our economy is larger then the country of France) As of 2003 Californians were contributing 12.3% of the nations federal taxes. We all know that federal tax revenues are not being spent here. California's political views are often at odds with the rest of the country. Our Republican Governor, Arnold Schwarzeneger could very well be a democrat if you take a look at his policies. Our ethnic makeup is also unique in comparison to the country especially "the bible belt". Our states topography is no different then one of a large country, and from a meteorological standpoint we pretty much cover a wide range of temperatures. With all that being true why can't California just secede from the Union. Yes I just said it, why isn't there a movement to make California, it own country. Wouldn't California just be better off as a country left to manage its own affairs. I know, I know I am a nut. Like I said in the title of the post it was just a crazy thought...

What Now?

2006-11-10T08:33:00.000-08:00

The Democrats just won the election and that means that they see the election as a clear sign that the American people want change, and they should. What is change though? Is it withdrawing from Iraq is that even a possiblity. It's definitely not "staying the course." The President is hilarious, he is "staying the course" but his Secretary of Defense is resigning, perhaps someone should tell him what that actually means, "staying the course" that is. Maybe Condeleeza should actually work on making sure the President understands what he is saying; I think the pretzel that he choked on might have made him loose air for a little too long.

All jokes aside I think the Democrats have a real problem. Either we withdraw which would be a global nightmare or we stay which would be a national nightmare. It was great strategy to use the war as a tool to win the election, but I am afraid it will hurt the democrats in the Presidential election coming up. The democrats are faced with a president that is going to veto anything they pass which perhaps could work in their favor because if nothing gets done they can just point the finger at him. We are just in for a couple of really interesting years politically and the world is not going to stop and wait for us to catch up...

Haven't Written in a while

2006-07-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while, haven't really felt the urge. Perhaps its been the lack of things to talk about, perhaps just the fact that I don't think anyone reads this thing anyways. Maybe its better this way. I have to say I am frightened. I am frightened by the state of affairs going on in the world around us. The war in Iraq, the problems in Darfur, and now the Israeli Conflict. The war in Iraq has been beat up on enough so I will just let that one be. Darfur is reaching a new level of conflict even with a peace agreement in place because of Chad's involvement. It's amazing how long the world has turned a blind eye to this segment of the world as a whole population of civilians is killed. The current state of affairs begs for a International United Nations force, one which has been refused entry from the Sudanese government. It's baffling what we are going to do to bring this conflict to an end.

I want to dedicate a little more discussion to the Israeli conflict. I believe this problem is bigger then meets the eye of most citizens in the US. I am going to forego a discussion on the Palestinian front.(like the Iraq war I think that has been discussed quite a bit too) So lets talk about Lebanon. There are a number of issues that scare me but there are one or two that make me feel like this is like no other conflict that we have seen in the past.

Let's take a look at Hizbullah, its a terrorist organization. One that is amazingly organized. The problem is not in their organization but in how the world and more importantly the United States is supposed to deal with them. It's a group housed primarily in Lebanon but funded mostly by Iran and Syria. That sort of structure begs the question who is to blame. Hizbullah attacks Israel, Israel attacks Lebanon. A minority Shiite' organization in the Southern part of Lebanon attacks Israel and the disproportionate response sets a whole country back twenty years. Israel is defending itself but not by curtailing the current threat. They are ensuring that they do enough damage to Lebanon to prevent the revival of the threat for years to come. In some senses with the perdicament that Israel is in they are within their rights to do so. My problem is that setting back Lebanon will not solve the problem. It will merely result in the funding mechanisms targeting their money to different organizations.

Let's take a look at Hizbullah, its a social welfare organization. One that is also amazingly organized. Hizbullah runs a couple of hospitals, a few schools and a variety of other social service type orgs. In fact Hizbullah in South Lebanon does a better job of social service then the Lebanese government itself. By bombing Hizbullah the Israelis are destroying a social service organization that is close to the people and therefore providing another reason for the people to hate Israel if there weren't already enough. The Israelis are creating a recruiting haven for Hizbullah for years to come as the youth of those lost and slain will harbor hatred for those that are responsible.

There are definitely many other facets to this discussion that I am omitting but just the two highlighted above, in my mind, make this a very scary situation.

Another one bites the dust

2006-05-28T19:18:00.000-07:00

The time has come, when we have to realize that we are at the beginning of the end. Everywhere you turn soldiers are losing the war. You try to aid them in their effort keep them upbeat. You even offer a shoulder to cry on. Nothing seems to work. At the end the war is just to tough. The lure too strong for some. And that is how you lose them. This last weekend we lost another good soldier. He too gave in and laid down his arms. Atur decided it was time and proposed. It seems as though in the last few weeks the morale has been especially low as I have been hearing of more fallen soldiers then ever before. It has gotten so bad that there are circles betting on who the next soldier to fall will be. My money is on the Doshi brothers. Any takers. Well Atur you have ventured to the other side I wish you well. I say this with a heavy heart. Another one bites the dust....

Mother's day

2006-05-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

Some of you may know this and others probably don't but I work mostly with teachers and their retirement accounts for work. Teachers are a very curious bunch, one of them asked me the other day when mothers day was for us culturally. Perhaps there is one but if so I don't know when. I relayed that to her following it up with, in our culture everyday is mother's day. It bugged me to think that we didn't have a celebration like mothers day or that even if we did we didn't celebrate it in our household except for the American version. I got solace in the fact that mothers in India and Pakistan are held up to a pedistal that in my opinion is not paralleled in American culture. In Islamic belief salvation is under your mothers feet, and in Indian culture from what I understand your Mother is revered like a god. Since I am a muslim of South Asian descent I get the best of both worlds. Basically I am a momma's boy and in light of that I just wanted to say to my mom and all the mothers out there HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.

I am getting old.

2006-05-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

I am getting old; So it was Cinco De Mayo yesterday and a friday night and I spent it at home in front of my Tv. Is it just me or is it harder and harder to find things to do. I live in Corona which doesn't help cause I am quite a drive from anyone. On top of that everyone is so busy with their own lives that its so difficult for all of us to get together. So since I was stuck at home I watched the playoffs and then played online poker. Online poker can be addicting. It seems as though the highlight for every weekend for me is playing basketball. Since we play early on Sundays I don't go out on Saturdays and most of my Fridays are spent just like this one was at home.
The highlight of the night was the Colbert speech at the correspondent dinner(thanks Terrence) the shit was hilarious. I am just wondering who thought it would be a good idea for Colbert to speak at the event. He was right on point, after this bit he has surpassed Jon Stewart in my mind, although I think Colbert gets carried away sometimes. Were it not for Colbert the night would have been a complete bust.

Humanity Lost

2006-04-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Night by Elie Wiesel, it's a book about the holocaust. It's really well written and painfully elaborate. I wasn't even able to read large portions of it at a time just a little too much to bear. It was much easier reading little bits at a time. Although the whole book was a hard pill to swallow one fact in the book stuck out even more. Even when people are put to the limits of humanity they are still able to hate. I learned from this book that the term Jewish prisoners used to refer to their weaker compatriates that would be sent to the crematorium was "Muselman" the german word for Muslim...

How about the BRUINS!!!

2006-04-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

That's right the Bruins are going ot be playing in the championship game. They have a great backcourt and they can play defense with the best of them. They won't be able to run against Florida as they did against LSU but if they can keep the game to a pace similar to the game against Memphis, then they might be bringing it home.

Since it's Sunday here are some music and reading suggestions.

Songs

No Bravery- James Blunt(his whole cd is good)
Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
Tenu Ishq Hua - Saru Maini
Yeh Hai Meri Kahani - Zinda

Books

Been reading about resumes and cover letters nothing interesting to add

Till next time...

Here goes

2006-04-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

The Vapor Trail
Random Brutal Love Master (RBLMm)

Here today, gone today. You are The Vapor Trail. Are you in a relationship now?

Your exact opposite:
The Backrubber

Deliberate Gentle Sex Dreamer

What about now?

Vapor Trails can be highly charismatic people--unpredictable, confident, and magnetic. You're experienced. You know how to handle yourself in a relationship, and many people appreciate that. Many people, all in a row.

You've had your share of blissful beginnings, to be sure. But things almost never turn out how you'd like, do they? The problem is you're never happy with someone for an extended period of time. Relate to the following:

Vapor Trails especially need a girl who will laugh at their jokes. They're also the most likely male type to be haunted by serious regret.

FACT: A few of your exes, the ones you were best to, will always love you. Nice going.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Intern, The Maid of Honor

CONSIDER: The Sudden Departure

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: benkow

Try out this website it tells you how old you act

2006-03-27T17:38:00.000-08:00

You Are 26 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

I have been tagged

2006-03-24T23:16:00.000-08:00

So Niyati tagged me. I am supposed to describe my perfect life partner and then tag eight other people. Let me say first that this almost sounds like one of those creepy forwards, having said that I will attempt to describe my perfect partner. As far as tagging other people goes, anyone I would have tagged has already been tagged, so the chain at least on my end stops with me.

So lets see perfect partner, let me get this out of the way right at the on set thats an oxymoron. I know I know lighten up. Well for me a perfect partner is someone that listens to you, understands you, loves you for who you are, and makes you laugh. The perfect partner would also makes me listen to them( I tend to talk a lot), force me to see their perspective( I am a tad stubborn) hate me when I am not living up to my potential, and also laugh at my jokes( I am not great at telling jokes)

Bush has done it again

2006-03-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

President Bush has once again managed to ignore the democratic process. Wire tapping of US Nationals wasn't bad enough. Now Bush has attempted to make a bi-lateral agreement with India while ignoring that fact that this agreement violates the NPT and that before he made such a deal he might have wanted to consult Congress and more specifically the Senate who is the body constitutionally responsible for ratifying treaties. The reasoning to allow India some latitude in their Nuclear program and for the United States to share information with India is the need for nuclear energy in India due to its growing economy. incidentally this is Iran's reasoning for wanting to have their own Nuclear program. I just find it problematic for us to tell one country that they can do something and another one that they can't. It's like a parent telling one kid well ok you can have the candy and telling the other one no. Just my opinion.

Yeh Hai Meri Kahani (This is my Story)

2006-03-05T20:07:00.000-08:00

I recently talked to someone I have know for a while and realized I knew very little about their story. We spend so much time partying and hanging out but rarely do you have time to say so what is your story. I am going to share my abridged version hitting some highlights my hope is that for those of my friends that read the post that they will perhaps post their own story on their own blogs or in the comments. Anyways here goes.

I was born in Dubai, U.A.E. on February 10th 1979. We actually lived in Dubai for seven years. My memories of this time in my life are few. Of course there is the fact that my brother Ammar was born a couple of years after me. The companionship of a brother in a foreign land meant that we were instantly forced to spend most of our time with each other. The most vivid images of that part of my life are of Ammar doing silly things he was the family comedian and of us fighting about everything and anything. I have images in my mind of Family friends that used to live their and of my uncle and his wife who lived in Sharjah. I have memories of toys lots of them that my dad would buy on his many trips out of the country. I have memories of a calendar that was on the wall that my brother would make my mom x daily counting down the days until my dad would return. I have been told that I was a shy kid, a quiet kid. (I know I know what happened) We left Dubai and moved to Pakistan.

Pakistan is where I have lots of memories. My dad was in Africa working on Business ventures and we spend the year with my mom. Initially we lived in a room at my dad's brothers house. Those were fun times, I learned to play cricket our cousins were almost our age so making friends and getting in trouble was easy to do. Ubaid bhai was a couple of years older then me and Zubair was my younger brother's age. Even though we were there for a whole year I remember it taking a while before I felt home. One of my fondest memory is of my mom and aunt sending Ubaid bhai and I to the local restaurant to get tandoori roti and having to always order extra cause we would inevitably eat a couple of the warm pieces of bread on the way home. I remember Ammar disappearing for a day and my mom frantically trying to find him only to find out that one of our uncles, he is the comedian in my dads family, decided that it was crazy that Ammar had never ridden an elephant so he just took him to the zoo. Of course Maria my sister was born while we were in Pakistan. I remember that we moved into an apartment of our own about six months after moving there. All in all this was childhood at its best. Next we moved to Taiwan.

Taipei was a great city and I actually remember a lot more from this part of my life. I experienced death for the first time in Taiwan. One of my friends passed away from a brain tumor and I remember feeling lost. In Taipei I again had a feeling of not having a home. I learned the language fluently even though we were there for about a year. I remember feeling alone. I actually even ran away at a point. I disappeared for a day and roamed the city. Taipei was great and beautiful the people were amazing and sweet. I would have to say that as siblings Ammar was a part of many memories in Dubai and Karachi. Taipei was Maria's city she ate anything and everything she spoke better Chinese then Urdu or English and she was adored by all, friends, family, and even complete strangers. I remember these two Chinese girls they must have been in their early twenties who thought Maria was cute they took pictures with her. They actually came to the park for the next four weeks in a row on the same day and time hoping we would be there to give us duplicate copies. All in all Taiwan was wonderful. Next we moved to Thailand.

Bangkok was full of life. I would have to say Taipei had a certain quaint feeling about it not so for Bangkok it was buzzing at all times. The lonely feeling I had in Taipei was gone. We spend hours on our bikes and although I had no real friends in school, we were like a gang of kids. There was Tra and Rak who were literally the same age as me and my brother. Pramote a few years older then us was our fearless leader. We got cuts, scrapes, played hours of soccer, blew up firecrackers and reaked havoc in our neighborhood. Bangkok was a time of prosperity for our family and we enjoyed it to the fullest. Leaving Thailand was tough for Ammar and me. I remember complaining to my parents that this was the first time in my life that I had friends and they were taking that away from me. Next stop Houston, TX.

If you are going to move to the United States from out of the country I would reccomend not moving to Texas. Having said that I am glad we did. My aunt, my mom's sister lived in Houston and we moved in to a house about a block from where they lived. If it weren't for Irfan and Faizan our cousins I don't know how we would have adjusted to the new environment. I learned Basketball and Football sports I had never played before. I also read a lot in Houston. Although I read throughout my life I think in Houston the things I read in Houston shaped me in different ways. I read almost any titles I could get my hands on by William Slater and Gary Paulsen. Although at school I was the butt of almost all jokes at school,life at home with the cousins was great. We are all within five years of each other and there were memorable outings, late night sleep overs, and of course action packed fights. I will take the liberty to share a funny story here that might give some insight to the often silly behavior of my father. My dad took all of us that is my cousins and Ammar and I out to a restaurant. This was not for lunch or dinner it was a late afternoon snack. We ordered Chicken Pakoras and devoured the first plate, my dad kept ordering more and we kept eating them. To make a long story short we ended up eating ninety dollars worth of pakoras. I don't have to tell you that my mom and aunt were livid with my dad went we got home. After Houston we moved to Los Angeles.

I went to Artesia High School where I somehow transformed from a shy quiet kid to the loud obnoxious person you guys know today. I was involved in MUN, went to NCCJ training, learned to Rock climb, participated in debates, was involved in ASB and was an all out social butterfly. I attended college at UCLA and majored in Political Science. At Artesia most of my friends were Asian at UCLA that changed to South Asians. I can only describe LA with one word, Home. Sorry for the long post I hope some of you enjoy it...

Just at work

2006-02-14T19:00:00.001-08:00

I am strarting to feel like that blogging at least for me is having a journal. Except that this one is open for all to read including strangers. I find this both enlightening and scary. Anyways the next topic I hope can incite some people to respond.
I read a post recently on a friends blog and it got me thinking. It seems as though every religon at its core values peace, expects change and preaches tolerance. It baffles me then why the most fundamental believers the " true believers" tend to harbor so much violence. The Christian right has had its history of violence. We all know fundamental Islam is showing its flair all over the world with bouts of violence. Under the BJP even in Hinduism showed its violent tendencies. As a child who grew up in a Muslim household I was told stories of how the prophet(pbuh) was ridiculed and taunted by people and his response was to tell his followers to not respond with violence but with understanding. The prophet(pbuh) was personally persecuted and he remained peaceful but yet a cartoon artist draws a picture and the muslim population reacts with violence. There is a principle of Sunna in Islam which says that we should follow in the ways of the prophet. I don't how today any of the clerics that encouraged such behavior can argue that we are actually following in that example...

i am back

2006-01-23T15:48:00.000-08:00

Its sunday and I have not kept to my word I haven't posted anything in a long time. So here goes some highlights and thoughts from the past few months.

Hmmm..... Kobe is a beast he scored 81 points today I had mentioned once that talking about sports on a blog seemed wrong but there are few things that needed to be mentioned. Seattle won and is going to the Superbowl and people are still not giving them the credit they deserve. At the onset of the playoffs there was a knock on the fact that they had a easy division and that they didn't play well in big games. Now they have beat the Redskins and today beat Carolina. A game that many thought would go Carolina's way. Give Seattle some credit they got the league MVP, and I think a very underrated quarterback, oh and lets not forget their defense Tatupu is an amazing player for a rookie. Anyways that was my sports bit.

A couple of new songs

Temperature by Sean Paul
Matis Yahu - King of the Crown

A couple of books

Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
The Spirit Catches you and You Fall Down - Anne Fadiman

Till next time...

Missed a few

2005-11-18T12:19:00.000-08:00

It's been a while. Work has been driving me crazy so Sundays have been football days. Essentialy Sundays are now spent sitting in front of the TV while I track my fantasy football team. (Battling for first place right now in case you wanted to know) I am curious to know who actually reads my rants it would be great to have some of you drop a line or a comment so I can know who you are.

I have spent the last few days wondering about a lot of different questions, none of which seem to have any answers but here goes anyways. Perhaps you may be able to share your views. In the near future I hope to expound on at least some of these questions at length. For now here are the questions.

Why are religon and science presented as mutually exclusive philosophies?
Is it better to read a lot about the world or listen to it and its people?
Should I be concerned about trying to do too much or not doing enough?
Is it better to be unique or the same as everyone?
Am I a South Asian American or an American of South Asian decent?

Enough Questions so here are some discoveries of the last few weeks..

Midival Punditz - Crazy drum and bass indian stuff definitely worth a listen, Bhangra Fever is a great track although not indicative of what the rest of their music sounds like

Falling Leaves - a book that explores a personal world with a great touch.

A Praire Home Companion- A show that is broadcast on the weekends on NPR. The hosts voice just makes you want to stop and listen. Listen some time you might like it.

Nothing else to report for now... Have a good weekend everyone.

It's SUNDAY!

2005-10-30T19:32:00.000-08:00

Its time for another list although I have to say this week was lacking in the inspirational category. Nothing stuck out but here goes anywasy

Blackalicious has a new album out it was a bit too funky for me but the first track World of Vibrations caught my attention perhaps some of you may enjoy it too.

Robin Thicke's song "I Wanna Love you Girl" is good too.

Read Jumpa Lahri's Interpreter of Malidies an insightful set of short stories although I felt some of the stories could have been novels in and of themselves.

Didn't really watch any TV so nothing to report there

Hmmm..... This week was jus a lot of work and very little in the way of Entertainment. Until next time....

Feelings of a loss

2005-10-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

I read this article and thought everyone should read it. It just talks about the earthquake and the response or more appropriately the lack of response that has followed. Just a few Statistics to help remind us of what is going on.

Magnitude of Quake - 7.6
Area of Quake - Northern Pakistan and Kashmir all the way to parts of India.
Death Count - An article last week wednesday pinned in at about 80,000.
Number of Homeless - 3 million
Major Needs - Tents & Blankets
Estimated Damage - 5 billion Dollars

It almost seems to late to do something but one has to try...

Another List

2005-10-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

I think I am going to make this a Sunday thing reflecting back on the interesting discoveries of the previous week assuming there are any.

Songs

So Sick - Ne-yo (I like it and I am sure you will too)

December 4th - Jay-Z Grey Album (Thanks for this one Terrence I love it, by the way the whole album is good)

Main Vari Vari - Mangel Pandey (A R Rehman does it again)

Books

When Broken Glass Floats (Truly Depressing but provided me glimpses of a history I knew nothing about)

Memoirs of a Geisha (colorfully depicts the history of an era in a fictional medium)

Another list completed...

Just a bunch of mumble jumble

2005-10-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

Jus so you know I spend a lot of time on the road. Driving is like second nature and as of late constantly listening to hip hop seems more and more difficult. So been listening to a lot of NPR .... a whole lot of NPR, which means I have heard a little too much about Harriet Miers and the new tactics this week to get her nomination through. I am just wondering would a Corporation of any stature be able to change their course on a weekly basis for their newest product. Well maybe we will try this strategy this week. This administration inability to do anything correctly baffles me. Lets take a look at a few things that have happened during this administration. First of all another man wins the popular vote and Bush becomes President anyways. We went to Afghanistan to find Osama, still looking jus can't seem to find him. Oh and by the way the parliamentary elections in Afghanistan have resulted in the election of multiple war lords and also some of the members of the previous Taliban Regime. We go to Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction, we don't find any, lucky for us we find good ol Sadaam hiding in a cave. Deadlines come and go for our withdrawal and nothing happens, every so called success is clouded by the information that the insurgency isn't getting weaker perhaps there resolve is getting stronger. As if our inability to do anything well abroad isn't bad enough. A major hurricane wipes out a whole city and our beloved president continues his vacation for a couple of days. Lets look at the aspects of vacation, our current president has taken more vacation then any other president in the history of our country in a time when the citizens are enjoying less vacations then ever before. I could keep ranting but I will quote what Churchill once said and then pose a question. "Any 20 year-old who isn't a liberal doesn't have a heart, and any 40 year-old who isn't a conservative doesn't have a brain." Although this may be true I am wondering why the conservative leadership doesn't seem to have a brain. I will just post a few quotes from a former Republican VP and our beloved current President.

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. " -- Dan Quayle

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix" -- Dan Quayle

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure" -- Dan Quayle

"Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican." -- George W. Bush

"We must have the attitude that every child in America—regardless of where they're raised or how they're born—can learn." -- George W. Bush

"I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically." -- George W. Bush

"Those of us who spent time in the agricultural sector and in the heartland, we understand how unfair the death penalty is." -- George W. Bush (This one takes the cake there were more death penalty sentences in Texas under George W. Bush as governor then ever under any other governor in any state of the country)

Sometimes I wonder

2005-10-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

"Im very confident in my insecurity about myself.."

-- A friend

1st List

2005-09-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

I have decided that I am going to sporadically make lists of things I want to see, Songs I like, Books one should read, a Tv Show that may have entertained me, etc... so here goes the first list

One Night Extravaganza by Jamie Foxx feat Kanye West ( you should all hear it it's a pretty good song)

I watched a whole episode of House the other day. I have to say I thought it was unique. I have never seen a character like that on TV before, Dr. House that is.

Burning by Sean Paul (you can definitely dance to that one)

The Alchemist although I read it a while ago I think everyone should read it. A short and quick read just amazing.

I used to Love her by Common an old song I know but such creativity, you have to love it.

I guess the first list is done. Until next time....

saturday morning

2005-09-10T09:19:00.000-07:00

Its Saturday September the 1oth and I am awake way too early. I just discovered that girls say things like he kissed like a sissy. Girls like to feel kisses in their toes and the lack of shock factor in how you kiss a girl can land you in sissy land. I can't wait till tomorrow another day of football I started the fantasy weekend with a negative point but hopefully things will get better, I have faith. Its sort of disturbing to write about fantasy football in a blog its as if blog space is designed for intellectual thoughts and not for lowly sport talk spew. So on to some intellectual thoughts. Flying out to New York this week to have a great time. Looking forward to seeing old friends and new and those that seem in one breath to be old and new. Its so amazing how we find ourselves in conversations with people that we haven't talked to in months sometimes years and the familiarity of their presence has never gone away. It is even stranger when that presence has no face just a voice and before that just written word. To feel so familiar with someone with the absence of physical contact is in some way to understand the power of language and to at once appreciate human companionship and fear it. One may wonder what there is to fear to me it is the mere knowledge of possibilities. The greater the number of possibilities the larger the number of choices availed to one the more confusing the decisions become. Its as if Robert Frost should have wrote the Roads not Taken for there are so many roads that we dismiss on this journey. Hell look at the blog I passed up on the road of fantasy football a highly entertaining one and ended up questioning the title to a poem. Perhaps I should have taken the road that kept me away from blogging this morning. Oh well....

hmmmm

2005-08-07T23:42:00.000-07:00

Hmmm....

Just felt like putting some thoughts on paper. Maybe jus a few babbles of nonsensical questions and realizations that came to mind today. I realized today that life has become a mere need to reach new accolades to feel a sense of accomplishment. It is not fullfilling to complete or achieve one thing for that jus leaves the empty feeling of needing to have something else to do. After pondering that for a while I started to wonder if the formality of the educational system may be in some ways to blame. The system teaches us to yearn for the next thing the next grade, the next degree the next designation. Although I am embarassed to admit it for me it has resulted in yearning for the next level of pay the next big client. I guess life never changes in its most rudimentary sense it is just a mere facade that is truly repetitive.

A simple four letter word

2005-07-21T15:06:00.000-07:00

Love, a simple four letter word
why then is it so difficult for me to describe
Love, a simple four letter word
why then to people question its intent everyday
Love, a simple four letter word
why then do we search for it all our lives
Love, a simple four letter word
why then does it bring so many to their demise
Love, a simple four letter word
why then do so few understand it
Love, a simple four letter word
why then does it bring so much pain
Love, a simple four letter word
how then does it bring so much joy
Love, a simple four letter word
how then does it fulfill every desire
Love, a simple four letter word
how then are we so intrigued by it
Love, a simple four letter word
how then it does it turn a frown into a smile
Love, a simple four letter word
how then is it so powerful
Love, a simple four letter word
how then does one long for it so
Love is not a simple four letter word

A nation of arrogant immigrants

2005-07-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this entry by saying that I wrote this one day after having spend some time trying to renew my green card that I had managed to misplace.

I slept her last night in front of the INS
on the hard concrete in the cold no less
this nation if full of immigrants
but treats newcomers with zeal
their ignorance or perhaps arrogance
they don't care to see
night after night three hundred to four hundred line up around the block
some of them like me have been here since last night eight o' clock
people that got here at four have been waiting ever since
it is six now shamefully at four today they won' t have gotten in
people all around me have told me they
take usually at most 50 a day
Is it me or would make sense to change this operation in some way
the people here are nice enough they are just doing their job
its those members of Congress that were elected that sit right on top
they have the power to create change
but would they bother
I can't vote and neither can you
so our concerns don't matter...

A friend

2005-07-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

Life has a strange way of showing us light
in our worse state showing us how to fight
we survive through it all
from the day we start to walk and fall
I saw today in the eyes of my friend fear
I could have sworn I even saw a tear
be he maintained his composure and grace
he still managed to crack a smile on his face
what can I say we are all built to survive
to suceed in whatever we do we strive
I have to say today I have learned
that little mistakes in life will leave you burned
just keep in mind life is day to day
just enjoy it and play...

some random thoughts

2005-07-21T14:37:00.000-07:00

A Bland Idiot
An Empty Book Of Pages
A life Lacking in Experience
No expression in the many faces
A lack of “spice” in conversation
An inability to listen and to remember things from the day
No clear idea of what or how to say
The feelings that don’t really exist
Accept but in a written journal
Yes I suppose I must be a bland idiot
Or is the characterization true to the one who made it…

December 04'

Pleasure or Pain
Flight or Fight
Treasure or Disdain
Day or Night
Love or Hate
Life or Death
Choice or Fate
no regret....

06/09/01

This journey is so inviting
it has lead many astray
this journey is so pleasant
it has made many know not what to say
this journey is so desirable
it has made many loose their way
This journey is so beautiful
it has left many in dismay
This journey is a mirage
This journey is love ...

not dated

How does one define pain
the sky turns dark gray
Adults start to pray
a kid runs across the street
hoping to avoid the crashing sheet
there is no avoiding today
he feels so pelted lost in a sense of disarray
in the corner waves crash and shatter a boat tied to a rope
with it they take something they take something that once brought hope
a car loses control and runs into a store
only to be followed by even more
the noise is ubearable and deafening
the sight so gory yet intriguing
how does one define pain
how does one define pelting rain
how does one define a hurricane
by defining the pain of a broken lover's heart

not dated