When are you getting Married?

Where to start with this one... This question was pretty easy to dismiss in the past and rarely ever bothered me. I turn 31 in a few days and its really starting to do just that, bother me. A number of my friends are married and seeing the period of adjustment many of them have had to go through has been "interesting" to say the least. My normal answer to the question is I am ready, just one thing missing. Anyone care to guess what? Yeah, yeah you got it ... A girl =)

Really though I am starting to wonder. A good friends cousin(girl) and his sister-in-law told me at a recent wedding that I was too nice to ever get married. I am not sure what that is supposed to mean or how to interpret that but maybe they are on to something. At this point, I am tired of the games, but it seems everywhere I turn there is another thing to worry about. I mean is it crazy to expect this process to just be simple. I swear it felt like it was when I was younger. I kind of like you, you kind of like me we go out and get to know each other and see where it goes. Maybe it's just my experience but that simple notion seems to have disappeared.

So now what. There are of course the dating sites. Naseeb, E-harmony, match, etc... Can't lie, I tried a couple but to date haven't met anyone through them of any interest. (Made a couple of good friends) Of course as a person of South Asian descent there are always biodatas. We have all seen the youtube video. It always seemed like a joke, but lately I am starting to think there is something to it:

1. Something in your biodatas makes you compatible (Theoretically)
2. You get to see each other's pics (granted no guarantee that she still looks like her prom picture)
3. The parties are motivated, if not the people themselves at least their family, parents, etc...
4. There is at least an assumption that the other party is not creepy (Yes, Yes not always guaranteed either)

The fact that it has any appeal at all is frightening. I never thought when i was young that few days from my 31st birthday I would be single let alone be thinking of entertaining the idea of having my mom find me someone... When am I getting married? Well for now the answer is still. " I am ready, just one thing missing." =)

Friends

A few of us went out for a birthday last night. It had been a while since we had all gotten together. I am sure most people can relate to this feeling. You just have certain people in your life that are a part of you in some way. It can be years since you hung out with them last but the connection is just there. Well last night was another one of those nights we all got together and it felt like we didn't miss a beat. There was about ten or twelve of us but it felt like a well oiled machine that just worked well. We went bowling and then out dancing and the night was loads of fun. For me at least there were some interesting moments... a few instances of reflection. I find myself still just smiling in a way as I think about the night. I am smiling to a certain degree because I often wonder how we all got here and where we are all going to go from here. it seems life has found a way to bring us all together and considering how much fun we have its for good reason. I have been thinking really seriously recently about leaving California and perhaps starting up somewhere else. It's nights like last night that give me pause, as I wonder if I could ever build friendships and connections like the ones I have here. Its definitely not all rosy and pretty. Even within us friends there are so many "thorny" issues some of which we sweep under the rug and others that we often talk about. Still though issues or no issues its that feeling that you are understood, that you belong, that you can and want to listen to others, and that there are people that care to listen to you... Friends are sometimes the most unappreciated assets of our lives. I for one am glad for the friends I have and for the many wonderful memories I have had with them.

Nobel Peace Prize

President Barack Hussein Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize today. Am I surprised and shocked? Definitely. Do I think he is deserving of the prize well that is where the real question arises. In my own opinion he does. In my lifetime I can't remember another person that has been able to affect the spirit of so many people as President Obama has. He is not Mahatma Gandhi who by the way never won the prize and definitely deserved it. I would ask you though for a second to think of another person who has so instantly changed the perception of America worldwide. I would ask you to think of another person that has captured the imagination of the world as the President has. I agree with a lot of the critics that he has not been able to deliver on that promise but we haven't really given him much time. I don't remember us judging any other president with a microscope to such a degree as we have President Obama. Every move he makes is scrutinized and challenged, but yet how many times have we heard him loose his cool, say the wrong thing, give a shoulder massage to a foreign dignitary (thanks President Bush), or seemingly loose sight of his goal. To get someone to have hope in change, to actually have them believe in it is to me a great feat and President Obama has gotten a nation to believe and some may argue even a large segment of the population of the world...

Whats wrong with the left.

I should be studying... really I should but this was bugging me and yet again I have neglected to post in a while. Why is it that fringe movements like the Washington Tea Party can get so many things done, that Rush Limbaugh, O' Reilly, Fox News, Conservative radio etc... can garner so much support. Recent Census Bureau data revealed that the shape of the economy post Bush is the worst of any president in modern history. The list of atrocities that have taken place in an era of Republican control while a Republican president and a Republican congress is long and somewhat frightening. There are prison abuse stories, a history of torture, secret prisons, lack of due process, etc... Amazingly until the final days Republicans stuck by President Bush, probably not a wise thing but they did.

On the other hand, So many people are already questioning Obama and the current Democratic party congress on why things haven't turned around including many democrats. Just a thought the United States is like a huge Oil Tanker in an ocean that we are expecting to maneuver like a small speed boat. On top of that the previous regime has ensured that we aren't in open waters either. The multiple missteps have ensured that we are actually in a sea of sorts with very few exit points and only careful maneuvering will ensure that we will actually make our way out safely. I am not saying that we should give the administration and Congress a free pass that's what the nation seemed to do with the last president and look where we ended up, but in light of the circumstances under which President Obama took over we may want to be a little patient...

Our voices of support have to be loud and perhaps even slightly uncivil. Yes I know we are the party of the educated, the party that doesn't play dirty, the party that likes to do things the right way... At some point if the war is in the trenches we may have to adjust our methods. If a Congress man is willing to call the President a liar during a speech in the House we know the other party is not willing to abide by the rules.Ok , I concede we may not want to stoop to their level but we should at the least be prepared to write, post, message, spread the word about our dismay at the discourse taking place around us about the current administration. When things like Death Squads, comparisons of Obama to Hitler, other misconceptions about the health care plans are being put forward daily.

Health Care Reform

*** Let me preface this by saying these are just my opinions, rants, etc... proceed with caution***

Let's just start with a question what do we think is a more primitive need, basic health care or education? I am not sure we all agree but I think its health care. The constant chatter out of Washington (Mostly Republicans) is that a government option would mean that we wouldn't have a private system. Just in case someone missed it our K-12 education system is a public one and last I checked there were plenty of private schools around. Is the public school system a great one, I would be the first to point out that it isn't, but ponder the alternative for a second is a bad education or a sub par one better then not knowing how to read at all... A public health care system may not deliver excellent care to all its patrons... last I checked our current private system with the highest paid doctors on the planet... doesn't either. The goal of a health care system at least a public one should not be to provide heart transplants, brain surgeries, or other complicate procedures to the masses. Instead the goal should be to provide basic services to everyone in an efficient manner. (No the regional county hospital is not an efficient manner) I am well aware that the goal should be to save everyone and the goal of the public school system is to graduate everyone. Unfortunately the first priority has to be to provide baseline services and then work on improving the system from that point on... I am not a guru by any means and I definitely don't know all the nuances but I think the solution to this problem has to be multi-faceted... Here are some of my suggestions

1. Increase the number of AMA certified Medical schools ( the number of Caribbean Schools has gone from 3 to something like 30 in the last few years if nothing else those would be dollars spent on our soil ... stimulus anyone) Theoretically an increase in Supply of doctors should decrease salaries
   
2. Provide federal loans that could be considered grants if the Physician or health care professional chooses to stay in the primary care fields. Incentivizing Primary Health care would go a long way in keeping better people in the primary fields rather then losing them to Specializations.
   
3. Create a government option that is designed to compete with the for profit Insurance companies... such and entity would be required to provide baseline profit returns to its own fund and its reports made public so it could be self sustaining.
   
4. Create a separate federal board with state offices to hear about claims that are denied by Insurance carriers. The board would be made up of Industry experts and the decisions of the board would be binding.
   
5. Create a national Information system. A system of Medical Records for all citizens housed and run by the government. Access to the system would be fee based as to help defray the cost.
6. Provide Grants and low interest loans to allow for practices to update software to interface with nationwide system. Prioritize grants and loans based on practices that provide a higher percentage of care to low income families as these practices tend to be less profitable. Grants should also be prioritized based on specialty with primary care practices taking precedence over others.
   
7. Create legislation that requires all health Insurance carriers to provide Insurance to the at risk population, each carrier would be required to insure a certain percentage of people that would otherwise be considered uninsurable. The percentage would be fixed providing a measure to spread risk across the whole system and not burden any particular carrier.
   
8. New legislation to bring the Health Insurance system under national purview considering it is fragmented and currently run state by state.
9. A review of the current Reasonable and Necessary and Usual and Customary standards employed by the industry. Health care professionals should be responsible for determining what care they believe is best for their own patients. Doctors would be subject to blind audits at random by a board of their own peers and those that abused the privileges would be reimbursed at a lower percentage. Boards would be set up nationwide and could loose their accreditation as they would also be cross audited by each other.
   

Those are just some suggestions I have. Just curious to see what if anything happens with the current legislation...

Questions...

I was talking to a friend today and she told me that one of her close friends had just passed away. In my 28 years I have experienced a lot of difficult things but have managed to experience death of someone close to me only a few times. I had a friend pass away in high school, a teacher who treated me like a son, and my aunt recently. I have to say that I have always felt that I don't deal with it well. I wish there was a pattern or a set rubric of things one is supposed to do to feel like they were doing the right thing. What is the right thing? What is the appropriate etiquette. What is the appropriate amount of grief? Does it matter if someone was sick before they passed away? Does that somehow mean that we will miss them less...perhaps it's just that we are more prepared. I told this friend of mine that I wouldn't tell her that I understand what she is going through, because I don't feel like I really do but I was there for her if she needed anything. I don't if that was the right thing to do, but it just felt right to me. I have a lot of questions but very few answers and the subject of death is a question that I am truly perplexed by... I would think its a question that perplexes many of us...

From a long time ago. New York pt. 1

I wrote this a long time ago and meant to post it but never did. It's recollections from a trip to New York....

I am on the flight back right now.I have been telling myself for weeks that I would do this, well now is as good of a time as ever. There is still a slight paion in my stomach, a lingering reminder of the past few days. New York, yet again, was all that I thought it would be. A host of us landing at different times at different airports only to end up at the same apartment. Thursday night started in amazing fashion with Katti Rolls from Roomali. I remember commenting on how orange the place really was. A sign on the door bragged of all the acclaim the place had recieved from local newspapers. Some hailed it the best rolls in town. They weren't, with my limited exposure to New York food, lying. The rolls were phenomenal.

Shortly thereafter the drinking began. There were a host of Gin and Tonic's. A shower and a shave later I was ready for the night scene. In hindsight that night should have been a sign of things to come. I was already having a difficult time drinking. I should have known the food was not sitting well with me. The night scene on this particular night was not in our favor. The place we went to Taj's was awesomely decorated and the music there was second to none, but if having ten guys in our group wasn't bad enough we only seemed to find an abundance of more... After clamoring for a while over wether the scene was going to improve we all decided to leave and head over to Mercury Bar. This place was definitely more happening, but truthfully the most memorable part of the night was the pizza. Pasta pizza as we called it or Baked Ziti as referred to by the owner was oustanding. Check item number one, New York pizza off the list. Calling it somewhat of an early night(3am) we decided to get ready for the next few days.

Friday was of course a late start. We decided as a group of "guys" to dedicate the day to "shopping" and headed over towards Madison and 5th. We stopped off at a local deli, Oxford Catering Company, to grab a bite. I had the Chicken Parmigiana Pannini, which was pretty good. First stop was the Sean John Store, liked a few items but definitely out of my price range. Next we headed over to Saks Fifth Avenue. I need to pause here for a brief description. I was wearing jeans, a hooded sweatshirt, and a baseball cap. The person attending to us at the counter was not let's say extremely gracious. Arjun asked the appropriate questions but nothing came of being at Sak's. We ran through some other stores and ended up at H&M. I should have ran, two hundred dollars and almost two hours later, I had two blazers, a couple of short sleeve shirts and another long sleeve shirt that would be making the journey home with me a few days later. Atur and I headed over to Mexx to meet up with the other guys who by now were a little tired of waiting for the two shopping idiots. In our absence they had made it to the Versace store and Arjun had found the money clip that he had been looking for. Anuj, our gracious tour guide was little tired at this point, the throwing up from the night before had left him in a struggling state for the the day, so we headed back to his place...