Questions...

I was talking to a friend today and she told me that one of her close friends had just passed away. In my 28 years I have experienced a lot of difficult things but have managed to experience death of someone close to me only a few times. I had a friend pass away in high school, a teacher who treated me like a son, and my aunt recently. I have to say that I have always felt that I don't deal with it well. I wish there was a pattern or a set rubric of things one is supposed to do to feel like they were doing the right thing. What is the right thing? What is the appropriate etiquette. What is the appropriate amount of grief? Does it matter if someone was sick before they passed away? Does that somehow mean that we will miss them less...perhaps it's just that we are more prepared. I told this friend of mine that I wouldn't tell her that I understand what she is going through, because I don't feel like I really do but I was there for her if she needed anything. I don't if that was the right thing to do, but it just felt right to me. I have a lot of questions but very few answers and the subject of death is a question that I am truly perplexed by... I would think its a question that perplexes many of us...

From a long time ago. New York pt. 1

I wrote this a long time ago and meant to post it but never did. It's recollections from a trip to New York....

I am on the flight back right now.I have been telling myself for weeks that I would do this, well now is as good of a time as ever. There is still a slight paion in my stomach, a lingering reminder of the past few days. New York, yet again, was all that I thought it would be. A host of us landing at different times at different airports only to end up at the same apartment. Thursday night started in amazing fashion with Katti Rolls from Roomali. I remember commenting on how orange the place really was. A sign on the door bragged of all the acclaim the place had recieved from local newspapers. Some hailed it the best rolls in town. They weren't, with my limited exposure to New York food, lying. The rolls were phenomenal.

Shortly thereafter the drinking began. There were a host of Gin and Tonic's. A shower and a shave later I was ready for the night scene. In hindsight that night should have been a sign of things to come. I was already having a difficult time drinking. I should have known the food was not sitting well with me. The night scene on this particular night was not in our favor. The place we went to Taj's was awesomely decorated and the music there was second to none, but if having ten guys in our group wasn't bad enough we only seemed to find an abundance of more... After clamoring for a while over wether the scene was going to improve we all decided to leave and head over to Mercury Bar. This place was definitely more happening, but truthfully the most memorable part of the night was the pizza. Pasta pizza as we called it or Baked Ziti as referred to by the owner was oustanding. Check item number one, New York pizza off the list. Calling it somewhat of an early night(3am) we decided to get ready for the next few days.

Friday was of course a late start. We decided as a group of "guys" to dedicate the day to "shopping" and headed over towards Madison and 5th. We stopped off at a local deli, Oxford Catering Company, to grab a bite. I had the Chicken Parmigiana Pannini, which was pretty good. First stop was the Sean John Store, liked a few items but definitely out of my price range. Next we headed over to Saks Fifth Avenue. I need to pause here for a brief description. I was wearing jeans, a hooded sweatshirt, and a baseball cap. The person attending to us at the counter was not let's say extremely gracious. Arjun asked the appropriate questions but nothing came of being at Sak's. We ran through some other stores and ended up at H&M. I should have ran, two hundred dollars and almost two hours later, I had two blazers, a couple of short sleeve shirts and another long sleeve shirt that would be making the journey home with me a few days later. Atur and I headed over to Mexx to meet up with the other guys who by now were a little tired of waiting for the two shopping idiots. In our absence they had made it to the Versace store and Arjun had found the money clip that he had been looking for. Anuj, our gracious tour guide was little tired at this point, the throwing up from the night before had left him in a struggling state for the the day, so we headed back to his place...

Wrote this a while back

I wrote this a while back thought maybe someone would find it interesting...
To look at a blooming rose, one could say
Is to see the world in a different way
Separated from its peers by its hue
The beauty so undefyingly true
The color so vibrant it could bleed
The pains of the blossom you could almost read
The velvety texture so silky so smooth
The petals every single one every pain it could sooth
The need inside to reach out and grab it so…
The thorns below telling you no
To want it so you wonder if it’s just
Or is it merely a product of your worldly lust
You gaze away momentarily to catch your breath
To think of the right words to express
You turn back and see the rose is gone
You notice someone’s blood on the thorn’s
They bled for her but you feel the pain
Longing to have the past few moments again

Long Lost Friend

I haven't written in a while so I apologize if I am a bit rusty. It seems as though as I get older I am losing friends. There are many reasons for this of course as many of you may well know. Whatever the reasons may be it is still a tough pill to swallow. It's tough not having that person to count on to go to workout with. That buddy that was always willing to go play basketball no matter how far we had to drive. That perfect wingman wait I take that back I am the perfect wingman. The person who was ready to go to any party no matter how dumb it sounded. The guy who always covered for you no matter what. The guy to watch football games with on Sundays. The list goes on and on but I am sure you get the point. Suffice it to say it is hard to loose such a friend. In my case I have lost two: One to the Chapman MBA program and the other to the Sonal Marriage program.

You are both sorely missed... =)

Sonal, can Atur please come out to play. =)

Confusion

I haven't written in a while, and to be honest I hope no one reads this. I just need to rant. This is a matter of public record so I should be careful but I don't even know if I care. All I know is that I could go on and on.... Wether its my personal life, local issues, state issues or world issues I feel as I get older that I realize as a race as a species we have not come far. Darfur is a reality before us and its not even the worst of what is happening in the world. I often feel helpless to create change and am bewildered about how to create change. Should one attempt to become as succesful as a Bill Gates(no I don't expect to be Bill Gates) and then better the world that way or did Mother Teresa have it right. Would she have been able to do anything without funding, would Bill Gates be able to do anything without people like her to do the work. Who is the better person... I think society has clearly answered that it is Mother Teresa, but I have to be honest I am not sure. I think that is the jist of the argument, I am not sure. I am not sure that the stance the US takes on most issues is right and in all honesty when the full picture is taken into account I am not sure the stance they take is wrong. For some reason Dick Cheney comes to mind when discussing right and wrong but I think that is best left for a later time. All I know is that I am confused...

Just some interesting quotes

I don't even know if anybody reads this thing anymore , but if anyone does I thought they might enjoy this. As a part of my work I have been visiting elementary school lounges for the past few years and have always thought it would be a good idea to just jot down some of the things people say. I recently started forced myself to do it. Here is an installment of a few things I heard and some observations i made. My Observations are in italics.

- Procrastinating is an inherent human quality
- The most succesful people seem to be less stressed in the same situations
- Wisdom is simply saying the right thing at the right time
- Teachers are no different then lawyers, work time is hard and play time is fun.
- We have a training on "cognitive thinking," I wonder what it's going to be about.
- "Mulitplication" one day they remember the next they don't
- "Screw Education" is Santa Ana's new city motto
- My father moved in with his girlfriend after he had a stroke. I asked him when he was going to get married. He responded "When the weather breaks." He lived in Chicago ...

Just a crazy thought

California just recently moved up its primaries to February 5th. Our state has been known as the cash cow for elections. Essentially Californians contribute in hoards, and the point behind bringing our primary date up is to presumably have some of that money spent here. I say California is the cash cow not just for elections but for almost everything. We have the fifth largest economy in the world.(Our economy is larger then the country of France) As of 2003 Californians were contributing 12.3% of the nations federal taxes. We all know that federal tax revenues are not being spent here. California's political views are often at odds with the rest of the country. Our Republican Governor, Arnold Schwarzeneger could very well be a democrat if you take a look at his policies. Our ethnic makeup is also unique in comparison to the country especially "the bible belt". Our states topography is no different then one of a large country, and from a meteorological standpoint we pretty much cover a wide range of temperatures. With all that being true why can't California just secede from the Union. Yes I just said it, why isn't there a movement to make California, it own country. Wouldn't California just be better off as a country left to manage its own affairs. I know, I know I am a nut. Like I said in the title of the post it was just a crazy thought...